Waterbirth at Home

My brother passed through town and stayed over night with us on Sunday night. He always kept David up late playing darts or ping-pong so David was tired and wanted to get a decent night’s sleep. I got up to go pee and noticed that either I had a leak, or I had lost all control of my bladder. Turned out that I had a high leak. It was shortly after I went to bed on Monday night, June 18, 2001. Of course I could not go back to sleep. I spent the rest of the night laying in bed next to my sleeping husband, rolling over every few minutes to write things down on my list of things to do in order to get ready for our water birth. We needed to inflate the pool, which meant David need to go to a friend’s house and get their little air pump. We hadn’t figured out how we were going to fill the tub. (We tried using a bucket, but David ended up pulling a muscle or something. We ended up putting the garden hose on the washing machine water faucet. This worked great!) I needed to borrow my mother-in-laws pool thermometer so we could monitor the temperature of the water and her heating pad for keeping the baby warm after it is born. I regularly have a hard time shutting off my brain and falling asleep. This night was exceptionally difficult. I think I finally went to sleep once David got up and got started on my list of things to do.

We spent the day preparing for the birth. David ran errands and got the pool set up. We sat around. I tried to rest, and David played Nintendo Super Techno Bowl to kill some time in the afternoon. That was not part of my dream labor story, but . . . . My contractions did not become regular and strong until later in the day on Tuesday. David and I walked. I showered. My midwife arrived. Let’s call her Karen. A friend stopped by with some diapers when I realized I didn’t have a single diaper in the house. She and I walked some more. It was like trying to run away from the contractions as I waddled as fast as I could up and down our lane. My doula arrived about midnight. Let’s call her Brooke. I came inside and David was napping. I wanted to nap too, but Karen thought I should keep walking. I didn’t want to. Since she was asleep, I took advantage of the opportunity. I sneaked upstairs to lay down with David. Brooke hung out in the hall outside our room in case I needed her. Once I relaxed it wasn’t long until the contractions were strong enough that I was asking to get in the water. Karen had me wait awhile and then she said she thought I was laboring well enough that it would be okay for me to get in. (In hindsight I am not like some women where walking helps them progress. I really just need to focus and relax. Walking gives me something else to think about, which I guess is not a good thing.)

We had an inflatable swimming pool set up in the middle of our kitchen. I got in the water and it was wonderful. The contractions were increasingly difficult. I did not like the idea of groaning when I was taking my childbirth classes, but I tried it during labor and it really helped. Unfortunately, I made a low growling sound and eventually, it really started to hurt my throat. Brooke tried to help me change the sound to something else, but . . . I don’t think I was able to switch gears for some silly reason. I also struggled to control my breathing. I guess I was hyperventilating or something because I had this tingling feeling around my eyes like my face was going to sleep.

While the water felt great, during the actual contractions, I had a hard time finding a comfortable position. I felt I needed something to push against with my feet. We tried putting something in the tub for me to put my feet against, but it wouldn’t stay put. David had already joined me in the tub. Between contractions I leaned back on him and rested, even falling asleep a few times. I tried a squatting position. David supported me from behind by holding me up while Sara, the other midwife, supported me from the front by hanging onto my arms. This position worked well for me as far as tolerating the contractions. Unfortunately, the baby retreated in the birth canal each time I scooted back across the pool to rest against David. Karen suggested I try something different.

Try staying in the water and pulling your knees back during the contractions.

I didn’t like the pressure on my tailbone so David lifted me up off the floor of the pool during each contraction while Karen and I pulled on opposite ends of a knotted towel centered on my stomach. This was better, but the baby was still sucking back after each contraction.

The baby’s head began to crown.

Once the head is out, do I have to push anymore?

One more contraction to push the shoulders out, but it will be much easier.

Karen suggested I try to hold the baby where she was in the birth canal by not relaxing in between contractions. I honestly do not remember if I was able to do that or not. It sounded impossible to me.

Things get a little blurry for me here – pain, the head, but not quite the head, pain-

It is okay to push. I promise you will not tear in two.

I did not believe that.

Look! You can see your baby’s head.

But I would not open my eyes.

I finally did reach down and touch the top of the baby’s head.

I pushed her head out and then I quit pushing to wait for the next contraction.

Keep pushing push push push.

I argued.

But there is no contraction.

David was still behind me in the tub. He grabbed my knees, pushed my chin to my chest and

PUUUUUSHHHH.

 Together we pushed the baby out at approximately 5:55 in the morning on Wednesday the 20th of June 2001. They wanted me to push despite the lack of a contraction. Her shoulder was stuck -- her hand was in her mouth. I told David he pushed the last push because I was too busy arguing with the midwives.

They put the baby on my chest. I cried. I could not believe we had done it. There was our baby. I was just so glad she was out that I didn’t even care whether it was a girl or a boy. Finally, David looked. It was a girl. She latched on right away. We stayed in the water just enjoying her.

Karen had me get out of the water to pass the placenta. My sister had some problems with her placenta and I guess they tried to pull it out or something so it really hurt. I was afraid to push out the placenta. Finally I got on the toilet and pushed it out. It didn’t hurt at all. It was also neat to look at. Karen showed me the bag and how it was all there. She bagged it up for me later, and I put it in the freezer.

Although I certainly take credit for carrying Gabriella Belicia (It took us three weeks to name her. Just another advantage of having a homebirth.) and even for birthing her, I have to say I would not have wanted to do it without David. I don’t know if he could have done any more than he did. He participated so fully in the labor and birth of his child. That is the one thing that stands out to me the most about Gabi’s birth.  

When we were taking our childbirth classes, we had an exercise where we visualized our birth. My vision was that it would be only David and I and of course our attendants. David’s daughter Madeline was six at the time. I wasn’t sure that I wanted any extra people at the birth, but I also didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t welcome. I asked her if she would like to be there.

Uhhhh . . . Disgusting. Just call me once you have the baby and everything all cleaned up and I will be right out.

Certainly we were thrilled to meet our new baby girl, but the labor itself had been so intimate, just what I had wanted. The birth turned out to be as much an expression of our love for each other as creating her had been. It was a unique time and place for Gabriella to enter the world.

After the birth Brooke was in the bedroom talking to me before she left.

Boy, David really loves you. You can just tell.

Karen summed it when she and Brooke were talking.

There were moments when David and Chanin were working so much as one; it was so much their moment you were embarrassed to even be in the room.